Friday, April 20, 2012

The Conflicted Student

One of my teacher friends shared a story with me today that saddened my heart.  She has a student who has a pretty rough home environment.  His parents are divorced and part of his difficulty stems from the fact that he is continually pitted in the middle of his parents and is never allowed to voice his opinion or concerns.  Today he informed the teacher that he had something he really wanted to share with her, but his mom said he couldn’t.  So without too much prodding, the teacher asked if someone was hurting him, if he was hurting someone else, or if the student was hurting himself.  He replied that it was nothing of that nature, but it was about the teacher herself.  

My friend then encouraged the student that he should do what he feels is right, but if he doesn’t want to go against his mother’s word, then it would be best if he kept the information to himself.  The poor boy couldn’t resist telling, and he said, “My mom doesn’t like you.”  

Now of course there’s going to be times when a parent isn’t going to like and/or agree with the way teachers do things, I understand all that.   Luckily the boy felt comfortable telling the teacher, and she encouraged him to continue to chat with her about this in the future if he gets upset about it again. But I was just so saddened that the mom put her child in the middle of yet another relationship.

Anyone else ever had a similar experience like this or know someone who has? 

  The Resourceful Teacher Blog
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1 comment:

  1. I would say this happens yearly! Luckily... well its a double edged sword but parents that aren't happy with a class or teacher can request for their child to be moved to another class. I had 3 leave my class in the beginning of the year due to being "too strict" when it came to rules. I hold my students responsible for their actions and their parents if need be. Those that couldn't or didn't want to deal with it all moved their children. One moved their son due to another student they didn't like. I had only met and spoke with one of the parents of the boys that left. Getting parents involved is not an easy thing here. Some you won't see all year and others when there are problems at home and they want to let you know that is the reason their child is doing poorly in class or not turning in homework, maybe it is a request to repeat a test. I had many students whose parents were separating, not on the same page, going through divorce, or just MIA. The problem is that most knew all the problems going on in the household. Things children shouldn't be involved in. On the other hand I had a father that worked double shifts and would wake early to work with his son due to the fact that the mother didn't know English. The mother made sure his day went smooth and he slept early so he would be alert when his father would come and check his homework and read with him after breakfast and heading to work. That student was always alert, never slept in class, had great homemade lunches and was always happy. Even though he had an odd schedule due to his father working double shift and a mother that couldn't help him with his studies.


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